From what I have gathered most weddings are luncheons. Men were in suits (many had ditched their jackets) and women were dress in traditional clothing, cocktail dresses, and nice sundresses.
The biggest surprise to me is that there is no ceremony! You walk right into a reception. I was told by a Vietnamese coworker that they were official married at the government building (what an American would refer to as “the courthouse”) a few days before. That ceremony is attended by very close family. The day after the wedding I attended (I would guess 250-300 people were there, all coworkers, friends, and family), the happy couple had a second wedding celebration for close friends. The guest list was dominated by men, I was told that many people do not bring their spouse. Most tables were separated by gender. Weddings come in all sizes in Vietnam, from what I understand this was on the larger size.
When I walked in, I sat down at a table with my coworkers. We dined on delightful Vietnamese food. As we ate guests got on stage and gave toasts and dedications to the happy couple. The bride and groom did not sit down, they spent the entire time greeting guests and taking pictures. Close male family members walked around with bottles of vodka. They traveled from table to table making toasts and taking shots. With all the drinking I was shocked when the whole event was done in an hour! When people are finished eating, they just leave. There was no dancing.
At the wedding people only give money, no gifts. From my research I learned that if you are a co-worker or not close with the couple your gift should be 200,000 VND ($10) 500,000VND ($25) If you are friends and closer friends and families give up to 1,000,000 VND ($50). Many people give their gift in a red envelope which is good luck and represents prosperity.
I am so happy I got to attend the wedding. It was so much fun and a great learning experience. I never would have had the opportunity to see this.